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Title: My Song (I wrote it) Feedback? Post by sympathy_0 on Sep 13th, 2006, 6:19pm I wrote MOST of it but my friend helped a bit. She wrote the music. here it is. 1st verse I miss it much more than you think Everynight i wish for you here in my arms The pain of loosing you sinking through I need you to look at me once more tell me who the hell was i before i met you Chorus You left me here alone You left me here to die Without you in this hell they call world You still don't kiss me You still don't need me You still don't see me for me Please 2nd verse The feeling of your breath on my skin The feeling of your fingertips runing down my spine Your lips on mine The aura of your kiss The smile of your lips Holding me closely I can feel you breathing Can you hear me Chorus You left me here alone You left me here to die Without you in this hell they call world You still don't kiss me You still don't need me You still don't see me for me Please Bridge Look at me Tell me what you see I need to know what you want And what you need Because Im Disconnected From all these moonstruck emotions Tell Me Why Chorus You left me here alone You left me here to die Without you in this hell they call world You still don't kiss me You still don't need me You still don't see me for me Please Please, tell me ***** SHOULD I MAKE THE BRIDGE THE CHORUS AND THE CHORUS THE BRIDGE?******** |
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Title: Re: My Song (I wrote it) Feedback? Post by sympathy_0 on Sep 15th, 2006, 3:34pm Please, feedback would be apprediated. |
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Title: Re: My Song (I wrote it) Feedback? Post by carlyn on Sep 15th, 2006, 3:54pm I think it is really good! And I think the chorus and the bridge are fine how they are. You shouldn't change them, in my opinion, but I don't know how they sound with the music. |
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