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Topic: My song & poem... (Read 1339 times) |
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yrtigress2
Naked
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 25
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My song & poem...
« on: Mar 2nd, 2007, 8:51am » |
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Ok.... I really want your HONEST opinions on these:
MY POEM
NOT ENOUGH
Everyday I wish I could do all I have to do,
All I want to do
But there’s not enough time.
There are not enough hours in the day,
Day’s go by and life just passes away,
We wake up and say: Not Enough.
I looked around and everything was gone.
Where did it go?
Life happened before we knew it.
MY SONG: IN MY EYE’S
I had a problem,
A problem I couldn’t fix.
I was headed for destruction,
In this place I call my life.
I’d dreamt of becoming famous,
Where I couldn’t walk down the street.
Now I’m there and lonely,
And hoping for a change.
Temptation is around me and sometimes I can’t see,
The light in the tunnel or things in front of me.
**CHORUS
Cuz in my eye’s I see the past,
A place I don’t wanna be.
And in my eye’s I see you there,
You are right in front of me.
And in my eye’s I see you standing there,
Calling out to me.
I’m drowning myself in the bottle,
So I don’t have to feel.
The pain, the hurt this disappointment the hell I’m going through.
I wake up and you’re not there, why?
What do I need to do?
Who do I need to be?
Everything’s slipping away,
As slow as it can be.
Together we can do anything,
But alone it’s only me.
**CHORUS
The shadows are my nightmare,
And I don’t wanna sleep.
I dreamt of being famous,
Someone everyone could see.
Everyone looks up, up, up to me.
I’ve come to the realization this ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
I’m on the road to recovery,
As bumpy as that can be.
I don’t get to see you as often as I’d like,
I’m every woman’s fantasy,
But I just want a wife.
Someone to come home to,
And talk about our life.
**CHORUS
Your love is like heaven with all the angels singing.
I thank god everyday for bringing you to me.
I’m changing, changing for the best.
Will you give me a chance?
My song was inspired by Johnny. I was writing it thru his eyes. I am not very creative so when something comes to me I have to write it down. Hope ya like them.
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tkc1989
Goo God
~...Tonight's the night the world begins again...~
Gender: 
Posts: 1059
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Re: My song & poem...
« Reply #1 on: Mar 13th, 2007, 8:53am » |
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Hey I thought those were really good! I especially liked the poem, just seems like something everyone can easily relate to 
And the song is really cool too (and very long!) I really liked this part:
Everything’s slipping away,
As slow as it can be.
Together we can do anything,
But alone it’s only me.
I'm not sure why, but it's catchy and memorable, i like it 
I'm just about to post my new song 'Little Black Clouds'...it has a short recording of it too, so if you have the chance let me know what you think!
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yrtigress2
Naked
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Posts: 25
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Re: My song & poem...
« Reply #2 on: Mar 17th, 2007, 4:57pm » |
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Cool thanks for the kind words. I will check it out.
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