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Born On A Pirate Ship
Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson in through my veins, without brains, I involuntarily take what I need, then I bleed and it comes right back to me. But guts only eat and sometimes they repeat on you. Keeping you on your toes or crouched above the loo. That's what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart. That's what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart. Blood turns from blue into red 'cause of oxygen that it's fed and I turn back to blue, 'cause I'm losing you, but tummy just growls not real words, mostly vowels and I always forget sometimes Y Gratification can cause constipation if organs are left to die. That's what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart. That's what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart. I gained all this weight out of love, not hate I've got so much love to give (give me a break!) I'd love to sleep in late, but that dessert looks great. Was it something I said or was it some I ate? Heart beats in sync, beat in time, beat in bodies likes hers and mine, But I fed only one, and look what it's done; I've run out of blood and I'm chewing my cud and my gastrointestinal festival's best of all The cardiovascular questions they ask you are Less than the answers they give you like cancer and That's what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart. That's what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart. Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson I tend the wheat field that makes your bread. I bind the sweet veal, pluck the hens that make your bed. Mother Nature & Mother Earth Are two of three women who dictate what I'm worth Chorus: I'm the farmer. I work in the fields all day. Don't mean to alarm her, But I know it was meant to be this way. You cried a tear, I wiped it dry I put you up upon a pedestal so high if you should waiver, if you should sway I'd catch you, spread my tiny wings and fly away. You signed your picture with an O and X I bet you don't write "love" each time you sign your cheques. Chorus All of this corn I grow I grow it all for you I took a hatchet to the radio I did it all for you You could have written back, You could have said "Thank you" I guess you've got better things, better things to do. You say you love me, is that the truth? Although they've heard the songs, my friends want living proof. I know your address, I ring the bell I bring you flowers and a .22 with shells. I'm the farmer I work in the fields all day Never wanted to harm her But I know it was meant to be this way. I Know Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson I know why I like you it's cause of your clothing and your haircut and 'cause you're racist. I have a match; your face, My asking you questions you can't answer. You want to box me? Our world works in a weird way I've heard them say a man with a beard may frighten children or dogs but a moustache scares me more. I know why you bite me it's cause of your instincts and your canines and 'cause I kicked you. I have a bone to pick; Please go on the paper and fetch me my slippers and stop meowing. Man's best friend wags his tail and bares his teeth to the man with the mail and though he's frightened of thunder he never goes to war. Tell me what's the circumstance of circumcision? And what goes in my daughter's pants is whose decision? I've seen the facts of inter-race relations, of see-through slacks, of cyber-masturbation; if a hundred monkeys each could get their own show, Perhaps one day a chimp might say "You have faith, you just need to use it sayeth the Lord" I know why I like you it's cause of your sandals and your supper and 'cause you're Jesus I have a match; your Dad, my dad has your picture right next to your mother's and one of Charo They hold hands up in heaven. And they say that their son's name is Kevin But I read in a book somewhere that his name is Jack... This is Where it Ends Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson I don't buy everything I read, I haven't even read everything I've bought. I don't cry every time I bleed, My eyes are dry, but they're bloodshot. I have faith in medication I believe in the Prozac Nation You play doctor, but I've lost patience Chorus: But this is where it ends This is where it ends Call the police and call the press But please, dear God, don't tell my friends This is where it ends This is where it ends Where's my pride? Where's my self-esteem? Does it show in the drinks I've bought? I don't hide every time I'm seen, but I try not to get caught. Make excuses for behaviour Can my illness be my saviour? Hid my heart while you still gave yours Chorus She says she wants to live in a movie I say I want someone else to stand behind me And write it all down 'cause I can't be bothered doing it myself. And I don't want the responsibility of proving it's importance. I have loved and I have waited Been picked up and been sedated mental health is overrated Chorus When I Fall Words by Steven Page & Ed Robertson Music by Ed Robertson I look straight in the window, try not to look below Pretend I'm not up here, try counting sheep But the sheep seem to shower off this office tower Nine-point-eight straight down I can't stop my knees. Chorus: I wish I could fly From this building, from this wall And if I should try, would you catch me if I fall? My hands clench the squeegee, my secular rosary Hang on to your wallet, hang on to your rings Can't look below me, or something might throw me Curse at the windstorms that October brings. I look in the boardroom; a modern pharaoh's tomb I'd gladly swap places, if they care to dive They're lined up at the window, peer down into limbo They're frightened of jumping, in case they survive. I wish I could step from this scaffold onto soft green pastures, shopping malls, or bed With my family and my pastor and my grandfather who's Dead Look straight in the mirror, watch it come clearer I look like a painter, behind all the grease But paintings creating, and I'm just erasing A crystal-clear canvas is my masterpiece Chorus I Live With it Every Day Words & Music by Stephen Duffy & Steven Page On August first, nineteen-eight-one I cycled to Scott's house with a BB gun We were almost twelve, but we looked thirteen He had baby-blue eyes that I shot him between Nature provides for us a safety net Whatever we do, we can never forget Chorus: I live with it every day Even though we moved away Our yesterdays are on a loop; A marathon of heartbreaking moments I live with it every day For every step I have to pay The only thing that they can't take The guild that spirals in my wake The day they found me asleep on the floor Engine running, closed garage door Was the day the For Sale sign arrived on the lawn Two weeks later, and we were gone Everyone falls through time and the funnel it makes But I'm staying here inside my biggest mistake Chorus The love I put away Like games that children play The hearts you choose to break Like cars dumped in the lake The laugh lines on your face The life I won't embrace The cold house I won't leave The guests I won't receive Chorus The Old Apartment Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson Broke into the old apartment This is where we used to live Broken glass, broke and hungry broken hearts and broken bones This is where we used to live Why did you paint the walls? Why did you clean the floor? Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door? This is where we used to live Why did you keep the mousetrap? Why did you keep the dishrack? these things used to be mine I guess they still are, I want them back Broke into the old apartment Forty-two stairs from the street Crooked landing, crooked landlord Narrow laneway filled with crooks. This is where we used to live. Why did they pave the lawn? why did they change the locks? Why did I have to break it, I only came here to talk This is where we used to live How is the neighbor downstairs? How is her temper this year? I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun I know we don't live here anymore We bought an old house on the Danforth She loves me and her body keeps me warm I'm happy here But this is where we used to live Broke into the old apartment Tore the phone out of the wall Only memories, fading memories Blending into dull tableaux I want them back I want them back Call Me Calmly Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson You and I were meant to be Even though you don't know me I don't even know your name And do you think that you know mine? You were lonely, I was bored I may be more than you can afford But I'm sure we'll meet halfway And I've got this crazy feeling you've been trying to get to me When all you have to do is calmly Call me, call me, call me Basic service: sixty bucks I'll roll the dice, you try your luck A pair gets me a week in rent And a straight gets even more. I'm no good at playing cards I hold my dates in high regard Pay up front and ye shall receive Love is never in-between if it isn't one thing, then it's always something else I don't even know what I mean I thought that it was nothing, but now I can't find nothing else Oh, you can't hide But at least you tried to Call me, call me, call me Are you ashamed of what you've done? All we did was have some fun I won't judge and I won't tell And I'll forget you when you've gone I pity all you working stiffs, Living wondering "what if?" "What if someday I was free?" Chorus Break Your Heart Words & Music by Steven Page The bravest thing I've ever done Was to run away and hide But not this time, not this time And the weakest thing I've ever done Was to stay right by your side Just like this time, and every time I couldn't tell you I was happy when you were gone So I lied and said that I missed you when we were apart. I couldn't tell you, so I had to lead you on But I didn't mean to break your heart. And if I always seem distracted Like my minds somewhere else, That's because it's true, yes it's true it's this stupid pride that makes me feel Like I have to follow through Even half-assedly, loving you Why must I always speak in terms of cowardice? When I guess I should have just come out and told you right from the start Why must I always tell you all I want is this? I guess 'cause I didn't want to break your heart And you said; "What'd you think that I was gonna do, Curl up and die just because of you? I'm not that weak, you know What'd you think that I was gonna do, Try to make you love me as much as I love you? how could you be so low? You arrogant man, What do you think that I am? My heart will be fine Just stop wasting my time" And now I know that you will be okay, and that I got what I want and that's rid of you Good bye And it's not cause I'll be missing you That makes me fall apart it's just that I didn't mean to break No I didn't mean to break No I didn't mean to break Your heart Spider in My Room Words & Music by Jim Creeggan There's a spider in my room There's a spider in my room And then a voice above my head Said if that spider were made dead I'd better grow some fins 'cause it would make it easier to swim I don't like spiders and snakes The way they crawl, the way they shake if a spider gets killed how does that make it rain How could I be the one to blame A whisper drizzled down from the ice in its eyes it said, "Try pickin' on your own damn size," But the Hoover was quick, termination complete in its bedroom home got a chance to eat. in the corner beside my bed Very busy spinning thread Eight legs and a little head I hear the thunder from outside And the water's gettin' high I don't like moths and bugs They buzz, they get in the rugs But where does a guy find some room in this life raft home, a little rubber tomb There's a spider in my room There's a spider in my room Same Thing Words & Music by Ed Robertson What does it mean to wake out of a dream and be wearing some else's shorts? I've been around the block, at least on my bike I was prepared for the news but not for The Third World War I found me an answer, in a grocery store I found me an answer in the form of an old man with a cardigan on, this guy's got thirty years on me but he stops and smiles just to say "Hello, didn't I see you on TV?" Must've been the same thing Must've been the same thing Must've been the same thing Charlie Brown went through I'm in a comic store Lookin' for some mistakenly priced comic I could make A fortune on and in walks the Fantastic Four I say "don't go; That last issue was cool!" Must've been the same thing Must've been the same thing Must've been the same These things all end Who asked you anyway? You'll have to bend Who asked you anyway? I'm in a thunderstorm Staying out from under trees never holding Golf clubs, but still seem to be getting Struck by lightning... must be something in my veins My weathered veins Must've been the same thing Just A Toy Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson Look at my mouth, a thin painted line Look at my limbs, bent up and bundled in twine Forever, ever mine Form of a tree, shape of a child I wish I could cry, stuck in a permanent smile Forever, ever mine Chorus: I know you must have loved me sometime But now I'm just a toy I know you must have loved me sometime But now I'm just a toy First there was me, nothing but time Till he came along, you told me you'd always be mine Forever, ever mine Look at his face, somewhat like mine But look at his nose, you can always be sure that he's lying Forever, ever mine Chorus Who needs you A boy-to-be who Needs to be Better than him, worthy of you Given the chance that he had, I know what I'd do Forever, ever mine I call him liar, you call him son if I could move, I'd set him on fire and I'd run forever Chorus In The Drink Words & Music by Jim Creeggan Chorus: I'm in the drink for love And want to drink your love Swimmin' a swim in the suds I want to drink your blood Up like a rocket, down like the rain Back and forth like a choo-choo train I have a secret that just won't keep All I wanna do is brush your teeth Butterfly kisses And the taste of delicious I'd like to sip the sap from your tree And the honey in the tea Dripping amber drips Patiently Chorus I'm in the drink for love And want to drink your love Squishin' toes in the mud I want to drink your blood Caught a snowflake on my tongue A feathery crystal in the flavour of gum Dropping clouds fallin' fast Are you going to try some while they last? Once the birds have migrated Come Spring twitter painted Up the river, I journey on 'Cause this salmon is ready to spawn if you have some swimming lessons it would make it easier Chorus Shoe Box Words by Steven Page & Ed Robertson Music by Steven Page A key in the door, a step on the floor A note on the table, and a meal in the micro Note says "I'm in bed, please make sure that you're fed if you're taking a shower, you can borrow my bathrobe When I'm asleep I dream you move in next week" I crumple the note and save it to put inside Chorus: My shoe box Shoe box of lies Shoe box Shoe box of lies it's under my bed, it's never been read it's in with my school stuff and my mom never cleans there From my first little fib, when I still wore a bib To my latest attempt at pretending I'm someone Who's not seventeen, doesn't know what you mean When talk turns to single malts, or stilton, or Chorus Did somebody tell you This is how it's supposed to be? Or did you just find it And you don't want any more from me? Chorus Was it something I said, or was it something you read That's making me think that I should never have come here I can offer you lies, I can tell you good-bye. I can tell you I'm sorry, But I can't tell you the truth, dear And what if I could -- would it do any good? You'll still never get to see the contents of Chorus You're so nineteen-ninety And it's nineteen-ninety-four Leave this world behind me 'Cause you don't want me anymore.
2000
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